My Birthday Wish!!!

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July 11, 2016

MY Birthday!!!!! Yaaayyy!!! I'm so grateful God blessed me to live to see my 36th birthday.  Yes, I have no problem revealing my age because I'm blessed to even be alive.  This could be a day or mourning my memory for my family and friends. 

One thing this brain injury has taught me is to live life to your fullest and to NEVER take people, things, acts of kindness, or your life for granted.  Prior to my accident, I lacked the depth I have now.  I had many plans that I was adamant about completing, yet I still lacked my focus; or my purpose. 

Since the accident I have to remain aware of my new self, my altered plans and letting go of what will not work.  This was a very hard concept for me to adapt into my manner of thinking.  Then to add insult to the injury, I struggle keeping it all together in a sequential manner that helps me prioritize my areas of greatest priorities. 

Last year on my birthday I cannot remember what I did to celebrate it.  I know I was in my psychiatric nurse practitioner curriculum and was ecstatic to be working towards completing my Doctorate of Nursing Practice and volunteering as a Faith Community Nurse (formally known as Parish Nurse).
Do you need the nurse, Jesus, or both?

Back then I had a passion to advocate for the mentally ill in a way that I haven't seen in my career of nursing.  I wanted to study their illness from their prospective in order to change how the medical community treats them.  I also wanted to be a change agent in how services were rendered to this vulnerable population.  Can I continue on with my plans?  I really hope so.  I have faith and I am working hard for my recovery.  I may need accommodations to return to my program; however I'm not sure I can continue the accelerated route I was on with the 8 week trimester terms. 

I hope my plans are just delayed and not denied.  Who knows, this injury could have brought me to a higher calling:  advocacy.  Yes, as a nurse that is part of my role, but I believe I need to take it a little deeper.  It's nothing like experience no matter what I've read or not read in textbooks.  Experience still is a great teacher.  Lord I'm asking that you give me the words, the platform and the courage to keep fighting for medical equality for my dear brothers and sisters discouraged and shut out in this invisible injury. 

I keep reading countless testimonies of people suffering in silence and crushed by a system that is supposed to support them while they're in need.  I know that's what I was expecting since I worked hard, paid lots of expensive taxes, and treated others as I wanted to be treated.  If God is willing, I would love to continue my education and become a provider for brain injury victims at a concussion clinic.  This way I can provide therapy and medication management if that's needed.  Ultimately, I want to be a kind, understanding friend who truly knows the grip of this concussion battle.  I want to see people get their life back.  I also want to share with my peers in the medical field how far they still need to catch up in their education of mild traumatic brain injuries.

My birthday wish is simple: healing for all suffering from this terrible injury.  I wish we didn't have to struggle so hard to just sit up straight all day and try to function.  I wish we could show the doctors what we feel and how often we feel it.  I wish there were more reliable, less expensive tests that could show injuries on the microscopic level so there would be no ambiguity by medical physicians and naysayers of insurance company's discrediting our pain.  So what is your wish?

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