1 Year Post-Concussion

I cannot believe it's been a year already since my car accident.  Boy, have I got many things to reflect on.  I've had 2 hospitalizations, 6 months of speech and physical therapy, ongoing vision therapy 8 months and counting.  I am still not back at work and I have had to put my house up for sale.  Through all of the obstacles and challenges, I am growing stronger from the inside out.  This injury has taught me to spend my time wisely, since I max out so easily due to fatigue.  I have learned to be less tolerant of foolishness and allowing others to drain me like I used to prior to the injury.  I've also learned a powerful lesson summed up in one word:  PATIENCE.  The bible says to "let patience have her perfect work" (James 4:1a).  She has worked me this entire year, but I thank her dearly for it.

Sometimes I just want to get away from the entire process.  Get on a ship and go sailing off to some beautiful place where it's about 75 degrees always and a nice breeze, with no humidity of course.  Hahahahaha.  Can't a girl just dream a little?



What am I being patient with:  ongoing occipital neuralgia and the annoying headaches thereof, speech issues and difficulty with word-finding, visual processing/perception impairments, and as recent as July 18th, a dysautonomia.  I was hospitalized July 27-29, 2016 for syncope (fainting), chest pain, and shortness of breath.  It just started out of nowhere.  One minute I could walk 1 or 2 miles 3 times a week in June, and in July I start fainting with exertion or standing with an elevated heart rate and shortness of breath.  My neurologist diagnosed me with a condition called POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome).  This is a serious thorn in my side.  Why?  This condition causes me to experience unexpected bouts of lightheadedness, shortness of breath, and rapid heart rates.  It's still scary for me because I have never had an issue with breathing.

What's even more daunting for me is that I love to sing, and I am impacted by POTS in that arena.  However, where there is a will, there is certainly a way.  If I have to sit and sing, I will do so.  I will never stop worshipping my God.  He has blessed me with the ability to do so and that's what I'll do,  I am getting stronger each day as I gently push myself to exercise even if I feel like absolute barbecued crap, LOL!!!!

This video will definitely show you how inflamed my brain was.  God is so good and I give him all the praise that he spared my life.  I have a favorite song made very popular by the group Hillsong United titled "Oceans."  It speaks to every person who's ever been faced with a challenge and they are completely out of their league.  Oceans are deep, the waters can consume and drown even the most advanced swimmers.  What this says to me is that no matter how strong you are or think you are, God knows that we still have something that will rock us to our core.  This accident did that for me.  I couldn't speak well for a long time and even now, under stress, it is a coin toss for the quality of my speech.  I was thrilled to find out, by trial and error, that I could at least sing.  Take a look and I pray this inspires those still suffering to never give up.  Let your faith stand strong, even if you feel physically week.

Plans:  My plans have been almost halted altogether in the efforts to totally focus on my healing.  I never knew how busy I had been until I was forced to slow down.  I didn't like it and sometimes I loathe the fact that I still need so much rest and time to recover just from basic things.  For instance, a trip to the grocery store can set me back a few hours in energy expenditure.  It's almost unrealistic to measure my NOW with the PAST.  So many things have changed and the goals I had set for myself are even being reevaluated.  My continued education as a Doctorate of Nursing Practice has been delayed for another year.  If I stay out longer than that, I'll have to reapply.  Bummer, but I cannot do anything about it.  I started writing a song and in the lyrics it says, "Lord I just don't understand my life.  But I know you have a plan in mind.  Lord I just don't understand, so I place my weary hand, into yours."  Oh I wish I could play it on piano like I'm hearing it in my spirit right now.  It is beautiful.  Whatever the purpose, the plan, the mistakes, the confusion, through it all He has a better plan than I could have ever imagined for my life. 

My support system:  There is an old African proverb that says "it takes a whole village to raise a child."  I believe it also takes an entire village to support a person suffering from the grips of a brain injury.  I couldn't have made it this year without the unending love and support from my beautiful family.  My parents and sister have taken multiple trips from Virginia to be with me each time I needed them.  They have changed their plans on a dime, came to see me in the hospital, and stayed with me afterwards to make sure I was ok.  I cannot thank them enough.  I also have some of the most loyal friends on the planet.  There are spread all over the country, but they still take the time to call, text, or shoot me an encouraging message on facebook.  

In addition to my loving family and friendships, I also have a great circle of ministry partners, mentors, and friends who never left my side no matter how many times I forgot conversations I'd shared with them, or couldn't hang out as long as I would have liked.  They never made me feel slow or disabled.  This is the best gift of love to give a person who knows they're a little off, but doesn't want to be made to feel like it.  I've also been encouraged to participate in ministry functions when my health allowed and that gave me a sense of belonging.  We do need to know that we are valued and have something to contribute even if it's at a limited capacity.  

Believe it or not, facebook has helped me in ways I didn't even conceive possible.  Not just my general facebook page, but my loving new friends from the post-concussion group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/113072042059485/   

I highly recommend  post-concussion survivors and their caregivers to join this group.  It is a closed group so you can request to join and feel safe within the confines of friends who knows what you're going through and will truly be there to help support you through your challenges.  They have helped me realize when I overlooked issues that were very important to my recovery.  This group is a life saver.  May God bless each one of my extended friends. 

Let sisterly (Tiffany) love continue!!!!

Mom (Doris) and me

My heart, my nephew Mar'Tell

Today, as I close out this post, I am very tired, but grateful.  I accomplished making it to this one year mark and I am looking forward to the next year.  I plan on living life and not missing it.  Prior to my injury, I was a work-a-holic and although the money was great, I wasn't happy.  Now, I am looking into the quality of my life and what my new normals are.  I feel like I'm a brand new person who sometimes have some really weird brainy days. Despite the challenges, I'm loving my new self.  Be blessed!!!