9th Month Post-Concussion Update
I cannot believe it's been 9 months since my accident. In preparing to write about my progress I kept pondering on the number 9. What's striking to me is what this number means in terms of an ending before a beginning. For instance, a woman is pregnant for 9 months for a full-term pregnancy. In this time, she has to stretch, endure morning sickness, cravings, mood swings, and ultimately prepare for a new life.
I have never given birth to a child, but I feel as if I'm preparing to give birth to something great. The past 9 months have been super challenging and I've had to accept an altered life and way of thinking to survive it. Just when I'm tired of going back and forth to doctors and therapists wanting to throw in the towel, God sends someone to encourage me to keep pushing. So, that's what I'm doing: pushing. I will push until my purpose manifests.
A woman in labor needs encouragement because the pain is greater than what she has expected or maybe the worse pain she's ever felt (so I've been told). So what keeps her going? Why would anyone endure such pain? I asked my mom for the answer and it was simple. She loved me before she even knew me. She was excited about having a new daughter. New life is exciting. After all of the pain mothers go through to give birth, once they behold their beautiful bundle of joy, the sting of the pain dissipates. OK, this is not a Mother's Day post, but we did celebrate that too this month, LOL!!!
I can only wonder what I'm giving birth to in my season of healing. I have long ago realized this time of healing is a mixture of physical and emotional healing. Friends have come and gone, and my career path is looking very uncertain while I am on long-term disability. Each day is the day I have to pay attention to. I cannot plan too far ahead because I'm not sure how I'll feel. Even if I look great on the outside, I could be experiencing a full blown war in my joints and head. Imagine explaining this to people. If you appear fine, then you MUST be feeling ok. This is the one thing that irritates me the most about an invisible illness but I cannot fault people who don't understand. This is one reason why I will keep blogging. Awareness equals knowledge, and hopefully, an understanding for the many people around the world suffering all types of illnesses.
I am continuing treatment for myofascial pain. Let me explain what myofascial pain is. There are connective tissue fibers that cover the muscles. When they are tightened, it can weaken the function of the muscle and cause pain at certain points, known as trigger points. Trigger points can be active (extreme pain within the muscle group) or latent (dormant, but can cause restriction of the muscle). These points are very tender to touch and can refer pain to other areas attached to the muscle. It has caused numbness and tingling down my left arm from a site near the back of my neck and shoulder.
This video by SpineLive Technologies gives a brief explanation of trigger points and how they are formed in the body.
Myofascial Pain and Trigger Points
Massage therapy has been amazing in treating my pain from the trigger points. Prior to massage therapy, my doctor had given me trigger point injections of lidocaine (a numbing agent) into the muscles. This lasted about 2 months until one afternoon I had intense muscle spasms while typing. I was bummed about this tingling and spasms coming back. However, myofascial release techniques used in massage therapy has been very beneficial. And, it doesn't hurt to get a deep tissue massage twice a week.
Overall, I am coming along well. Yes, it seems like it has taken forever, but healing really takes time. I'm blessed to be able to allow myself time to heal. I also realize how important it is to keep a grasp on my thinking about my healing as well. When I'm having a crappy day, I give myself a pass to just chill out. I know it will pass, so I don't allow it to make me feel like I'm not making progress. This is huge for me.
I'm not one to just sit around the house and chill. It had to be added into my DNA or something. I've also had to learn to utilize energy like I budget my reduced income. If I want to participate in a function or an outing with my friends, there is a budget of my energy for that. I may have to rest two days prior to an event just to look like a normal person. Then it takes hardly no time for me to get overstimulated. I know I'm overdoing it when my speech starts acting up. My accent changes and it is hard for me to express what's going on in my mind. People usually then help me complete my sentences. For some odd reason, this doesn't even bother me anymore. In fact, I just go with it. In the beginning of my injury, I would get so frustrated and even cry because I felt like a babbling fool. Now, I have accepted that my slurred speech is a sign: proceed with caution, or slow down altogether.
If I could impart any wisdom to you all it would simply be to listen to your body. Don't try to force healing. Each person's body is made differently, so don't even try to compare your concussion to someone else's. This can discourage you and throw you off track. Encourage yourself. Know that you are doing your best and be ok with that. It's ok to be you, even if it's a foreign you!!!!
I have never given birth to a child, but I feel as if I'm preparing to give birth to something great. The past 9 months have been super challenging and I've had to accept an altered life and way of thinking to survive it. Just when I'm tired of going back and forth to doctors and therapists wanting to throw in the towel, God sends someone to encourage me to keep pushing. So, that's what I'm doing: pushing. I will push until my purpose manifests.
A woman in labor needs encouragement because the pain is greater than what she has expected or maybe the worse pain she's ever felt (so I've been told). So what keeps her going? Why would anyone endure such pain? I asked my mom for the answer and it was simple. She loved me before she even knew me. She was excited about having a new daughter. New life is exciting. After all of the pain mothers go through to give birth, once they behold their beautiful bundle of joy, the sting of the pain dissipates. OK, this is not a Mother's Day post, but we did celebrate that too this month, LOL!!!
I can only wonder what I'm giving birth to in my season of healing. I have long ago realized this time of healing is a mixture of physical and emotional healing. Friends have come and gone, and my career path is looking very uncertain while I am on long-term disability. Each day is the day I have to pay attention to. I cannot plan too far ahead because I'm not sure how I'll feel. Even if I look great on the outside, I could be experiencing a full blown war in my joints and head. Imagine explaining this to people. If you appear fine, then you MUST be feeling ok. This is the one thing that irritates me the most about an invisible illness but I cannot fault people who don't understand. This is one reason why I will keep blogging. Awareness equals knowledge, and hopefully, an understanding for the many people around the world suffering all types of illnesses.
I am continuing treatment for myofascial pain. Let me explain what myofascial pain is. There are connective tissue fibers that cover the muscles. When they are tightened, it can weaken the function of the muscle and cause pain at certain points, known as trigger points. Trigger points can be active (extreme pain within the muscle group) or latent (dormant, but can cause restriction of the muscle). These points are very tender to touch and can refer pain to other areas attached to the muscle. It has caused numbness and tingling down my left arm from a site near the back of my neck and shoulder.
This video by SpineLive Technologies gives a brief explanation of trigger points and how they are formed in the body.
Myofascial Pain and Trigger Points
Massage therapy has been amazing in treating my pain from the trigger points. Prior to massage therapy, my doctor had given me trigger point injections of lidocaine (a numbing agent) into the muscles. This lasted about 2 months until one afternoon I had intense muscle spasms while typing. I was bummed about this tingling and spasms coming back. However, myofascial release techniques used in massage therapy has been very beneficial. And, it doesn't hurt to get a deep tissue massage twice a week.
Overall, I am coming along well. Yes, it seems like it has taken forever, but healing really takes time. I'm blessed to be able to allow myself time to heal. I also realize how important it is to keep a grasp on my thinking about my healing as well. When I'm having a crappy day, I give myself a pass to just chill out. I know it will pass, so I don't allow it to make me feel like I'm not making progress. This is huge for me.
I'm not one to just sit around the house and chill. It had to be added into my DNA or something. I've also had to learn to utilize energy like I budget my reduced income. If I want to participate in a function or an outing with my friends, there is a budget of my energy for that. I may have to rest two days prior to an event just to look like a normal person. Then it takes hardly no time for me to get overstimulated. I know I'm overdoing it when my speech starts acting up. My accent changes and it is hard for me to express what's going on in my mind. People usually then help me complete my sentences. For some odd reason, this doesn't even bother me anymore. In fact, I just go with it. In the beginning of my injury, I would get so frustrated and even cry because I felt like a babbling fool. Now, I have accepted that my slurred speech is a sign: proceed with caution, or slow down altogether.
If I could impart any wisdom to you all it would simply be to listen to your body. Don't try to force healing. Each person's body is made differently, so don't even try to compare your concussion to someone else's. This can discourage you and throw you off track. Encourage yourself. Know that you are doing your best and be ok with that. It's ok to be you, even if it's a foreign you!!!!
Great new blog post, Ella. Some very helpful points about how to cope with the ups and downs. I agree, listening to your body is key to not crashing. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteJulia, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I always want to inspire those who read my blogs and share helpful information. This injury changed my lifestyle. I just want others new to this concussion world to know what they may be up against and that they can persevere.
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ReplyDeleteVery good Insight points on listening to your body and knowing what to expect. And overall that we can persevere.
ReplyDeleteI emphasized the most with the part where you talked about your speech faltering when you've pushed too hard and recognize it as a sign to slow down and rest. When I get to that point, typically, it is the most difficult for me to settle
ReplyDeleteBrommy thanks for reading and I know what you mean about not being able to easily settle down. Sometimes I may not be in a place where I can just stop what I'm doing, but I do take the warnings and pace myself. This keeps me from shutting all the way down and then I'm no good to anyone. Bless you and well wishes in your recovery.
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