When Thoughts Betray You

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Hello, everyone.  I'm back with a post, but this time, it's a poem.  It came to me as I reflected how our concussed brains can impact our thoughts.  I hope you enjoy this poem.

"When Thoughts Betray You"

Thoughts are powerful.  They are things, so I've been told.
You can control them, mold them, and even reject them.
They are inside of you, so they come from you.
Well, this is what I thought until my thoughts betrayed me.
I thought I would never sustain such a life altering injury.
I thought I would never be sick this long.
I thought my strong will and determination was all I needed to conquer the world.
I thought people would understand why I am behaving and speaking differently.
I thought I would never be so "needy" and feel so afraid.
I thought I could just snap out of this fog and get on with things like people expect of me.
I thought I could sustain my relationship with my boyfriend after my injury.
I thought I could get back to work sooner so I could earn enough money to forgo the sale of my home. 
I thought I would heal much faster because I am a nurse and that gives me an advantage.
I thought my job that I worked so hard for would offer more support as I take the time to heal.
I thought I would never have to write everything down and live by my calendar and all the alerts afforded to me by my iPhone.
I thought I could travel long distances and not need at least two days to recover from them.
I thought I would never have to run for cover from the sun's initiation of migraines.
I thought I would be back in school finishing up my doctorate degree.
I thought I had a plan B.
Well, I don't have a plan B and I realize I have been betrayed by my thoughts.
They also need time to heal.  They need to catch up to where I am now and embrace the new me. 

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You see that poem could go on for days, but I won't do that to you lovely readers.  However, I did find a picture on the canva.com site that I wanted to share.  It encouraged me a great deal.






Comments

  1. DebApril 11, 2016 at 10:36 AM

    Excellent! I can relate. I think as a nurse it is harder to be the one needing care as we are so used to caring for others.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DebApril 11, 2016 at 10:36 AM

    Excellent! I can relate. I think as a nurse it is harder to be the one needing care as we are so used to caring for others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownApril 11, 2016 at 1:18 PM

      Deb, you are totally correct!!!! I just got off the phone with my social worker of the brain injury program I'm in, and I find it a little humbling to share with her what I need. However, I had to accept the help offered to me. Why do we neglect ourselves so much and give such great care to others? Maybe God allowed me to go through this to learn that it's ok to care for myself too.

      Delete
  3. HitofallhitsApril 11, 2016 at 1:20 PM

    So well done, right on!

    ReplyDelete
  4. HitofallhitsApril 11, 2016 at 1:20 PM

    So well done, right on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownApril 12, 2016 at 10:34 AM

      Thank you so much for reading my poem and relating to it.

      Delete
  5. julia swannApril 11, 2016 at 11:34 PM

    Fantastic poem, Ella! After a concussion I think we are faced with the reality that life is full of uncertainty. It always was but that reality becomes stark after a brain injury. Very Well Done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UnknownApril 12, 2016 at 10:36 AM

      Thanks Julia. This poem highlights how the injury invades how we even process information in our thoughts. It's like we think things we wouldn't normally think. It's like an invasion. Depression comes much more easily in this state and irritability too. It is a betrayal of the person I know I am and used to be. A betrayal of even my positive thinking skills. I'm fighting this battle too. I will overcome.

      Delete
    2. UnknownApril 12, 2016 at 10:39 AM

      Thanks Julia. This poem highlights how the injury invades how we even process information in our thoughts. It's like we think things we wouldn't normally think. It's like an invasion. Depression comes much more easily in this state and irritability too. It is a betrayal of the person I know I am and used to be. A betrayal of even my positive thinking skills. I'm fighting this battle too. I will overcome.

      Delete

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